Save or Spend? Old or New?

The title of my blog has been my motto for a long time, yet it speaks of two different approaches to life.  Finding the happy medium is the goal.  How do I dream, plan and prepare if I'm also flying by the seat of my pants?  It's very difficult, but I have found my own balance.  I come up with plans and dreams, but I don't set dates or deadlines.  Always thinking about what is best for me.  What will be the most rewarding?

My little boy has a piggy bank that says "Save/Spend/Donate/Invest."  He asked me "What does that mean?'  I explained what donating and investing are, and he laughs saying "I wouldn't do that.  I would rather save or spend."  Me too.  But when to save and when to spend?  That's a never-ending debate.  Donating and investing sound swell, but I feel I should be economically stable before I start throwing money into the wind.

I have a little obsession with technology... which is a good thing, since I'm a computer geek and electronic salesman.  I LOVE new technology.  It gives me a slight adrenaline rush just thinking about faster processors, high definition screens and all the possibilities of new technologies offer.  I have been this way as long as I can remember... all the way back to dreaming of getting a color TV (yes, color!), a cd player and a dvd player.  What a long way we've come!  Black & white isn't even an option anymore.  CDs and DVD players are practically obsolete.  Now it's all about that Smart HDTV and a supercomputer cellphone tablet.  What grand inventions!!  And dreaming of them is the only thing that gets me through the dreary dog days of work.

So, I research these magical devices.  What are the best features?  What's the best manufacturer?  How will my entertainment habits change?  And all of these questions really depend on what you think is the best... and how you will use them.  It's hard to imagine future entertainment habits when you don't own these new gadgets.  Many years ago I thought a cellphone was over-rated.  E-books were a waste of money.  But that's because I didn't own them.  I had no idea!  My cellphone has replaced nearly every device I own (camera, pda, mp3 player, watch, pen & paper, stopwatch, radio...) and my e-book has given me access to every book I have every wanted without filling up bookshelves.

All of these books

Fit on this device

In the end, I always come full circle.  I remember that I once had a black & white TV.  I once used a rotary dial telephone.  The gadgets I own might not be the latest and greatest, but they are 100 times better than anything I owned 10 years ago.  In the 1990's, the idea of a smart phone was incomprehensible.  A computer phone with a camera and built in HD screen that fits in my pocket???

And so I save.  That money will still bring me joy.  Just not now.  Technology gets cheaper.  So saving just means that someday in the future, I will get better things for less money.  My 2 year old phone costed me $200... and you can now buy it for $30.  While it seems pathetic compared to the newest phones... it would still amaze a low-tech person.  And my 10 year old TV is small and blurry compared to new HDTVs, but it's trust, theft-proof and a million times better than that old black & white.

My technological life used to revolve around these wonderful gadgets.  Kids will never know.  Do you remember being excited about what these devices can do?

What is "Cool"?

What is "Cool"?

Maybe I have dated myself just by using the word "cool."  "Cool" isn't cool anymore.  Neither is awesome or rad.  Yet, when I hear the words "dope," "tight," or "fat," those words don't sound very cool to me.  But this very sense of feeling "hip" and "on-top of your game" changes as you grow older.

As a toddler, I didn't have much of a sense of cool.  No real friends at that age, and being cool just meant I didn't poop my pants.  Having a bottle of milk or juice was pretty sweet, and Sesame Street was the best pop culture had to offer me.

As a little boy, I had just figured out how to have friends.  Now cool meant being friendly and coming up with fun imaginary games.  I was most proud of being able to tie my shoes.  And math was cool.  Chances are, Sesame Street was still #1 for me.

Pre-teen is the true beginnings of social cliques.  I was not cool.  I was awkward.  Too smart for my own good, and a total know-it-all.  I was good at soccer.  That made me feel cool.  I loved to write and draw, but for the most part I thought about things no other kid thought about.  My curiosity killed Santa and the Easter Bunny.  Sorry about that.  I had to do it.

Teenage years were a blur and a nightmare.  My awkwardness multiplied tenfold.  To me, cool was having favorite bands to rally behind.  I impressed friends by being good at video games, and just being friendly.  But my nerd side kept me from being anything near popular.  Who needs to be popular when you can be cool in your own way?  I liked the wild shocking bands that scared other people.  Cool was being a creative  individual that stood out from the crowd.

My young-adult life, I continued on this quest to be cool.  I was the coolest person I had ever met.  I dyed my hair green, started recording outlandish music and creating art.  Printed tye-dye tee shirts and had dreams of being the next big rock star.  And at some point in my 20's, I became that rock star.  At least in my head.  I am my own rock star.  I don't have to impress anyone.  All I need is a guitar, an amp and electricity.  Nobody can cheer for me louder than my own inner voices.

And in my 30's, I can hardly even relate to the idea of "cool."  I don't care to impress anyone.  I just want to be myself.  To be honest, respectable and a role-model.  There is a 5 year old boy in my life, and I do my best to make him think I'm cool.  We paint.  We play with Transformers.  We play video games.  We are cool together.  And there is a woman in my life who thinks I'm cool no matter what I do.  And that makes me feel cool.

Maybe being cool is just for young people.  As I grow older, I prize being content and happy far more than being cool.  I'll never be as cool as I was in my 20's, but that's okay.  I've impressed myself enough.  I've inflated my own ego as much as I could.  And as my ego deflates, it propels me into the future.

Are you cool, man?

The Glowing Man

When someone gets hit by lightning, do their bones light up like in the cartoons?  That would be cool to see. And scary. And gruesome.  Hmm... maybe I DON'T want to see that.   But if you make your bones light up, that WOULD be a fun super power.  Maybe not the most useful super power.  But it would be fun.

"The Glowing Man"

Something strange was hanging from the 4th street bridge.  A giant of translucent purple pod pulsed and oozed bloody slime.  Nobody had noticed.  And nobody noticed the slimy hand that suddenly punched out of the sac to tear open a hole.  A horrible creature emerged and fell to the ground 15 feet below.  With a gasp it took it's first breath of air.  Covered in slime like a newborn baby it screamed an unnatural cry that echoed across the land.

It looked vaguely human, although stood over six feet tall and had large faceted eyes, antennae, a long pointy nose and wet wings unfurling from furry body.  The creature stood up, stretched out arms and wings, and shook off the thick bloody slime.  As it looked towards the rising sun, it felt the hunger take hold.  Weak and soaking wet, it could hardly stand.  Wobbling on new-legs, the monster fell face forward into the dirt where it slept throughout the day.  The wet wings dried and hardened in the sun.

 The creature awoke to dark clouds boiling overhead and the first raindrops of the coming storm.  The hunger burned within him.  He needed something.  But it couldn't afford to get wet.  Quickly, the beast scrambled for cover under the bridge as the rain began to pour down.  

Forks of lightning ripped across the sky.  Some struck the ground.  The clouds had been pushed down by the heavy winds causing a thick fog along the shoreline.  Matt Silverton raced up the stairs as fast as he could.  The storm had been so sudden.  The weather service said it would be sunny today, but if a ship ran into the rocky shoreline it would be his fault.  He had to hurry!

Tripping on the top step he threw his hand out to break his fall.  He ignored the pain shooting up his arm.  Hopefully, it was just a sprain, but he didn't have to worry that now.  It was pitch black, but the lightning continued to flash outside like a strobe light gone wild.  Opening the metal box on the wall, he pulled the big red switch.  A soft light began to glow in the middle of the circular room.  Motors started grinding.  The glowing orb began to spin, growing brighter with each turn until the bright spotlight shined out the lighthouse across the water.

Matt shielded his eyes and looked out the circular windows at the shoreline below.  Thankfully there wasn't any signs of ships.  It would be terrifying to be out in this storm.  It was the worst he had seen in years!  

Lightning danced across the clouds, back and forth.  Suddenly, a lightning bold struck the lighthouse itself, electrifying the entire building.  Matt's screamed as 1.21 gigawatts of electricity burned through his body.  The lightbulb exploded in a shower of glass and filling the room with toxic gases.  The air crackled for a moment before a second blast sent Matt flying out the window to the ground below.  His body laying continued to spark as he hit the grass below the tower.  Bloodied and broken, somehow he still clung to life.  "How did I survive!" he thought.

His body continuing to glow as he crawled across the ground.  His eyes burned.  Everything was blurry.  He had to get help!  Somehow!   There was a gas station just down the road, and thankfully the rain had stopped.  Matt slowly stood up, feeling every part of his body burning in pain.  He stumbled down the road towards the blurry dim lights of the sign ahead.  Just a little bit further...

His ears started to ring.  Wait, that's not ringing... it's humming.  The humming grew louder and louder.  He looked up into the sky where the sound was coming from, and something heavy crashed into him!  He fell to the ground in a heap, the humming deafening in his ears and something heavy continually bashing into his glowing body.  Matt rubbed his eyes and focuses on the blur.  Giant eyes stared back at him.  He tried to stand up, but was knocked to the ground again.  Each time he stood up he was knocked over.  The giant moth man continually bashing into the glowing man tumbling him up the street.  It was practically humping him!

Bright headlights flooded the scene as a car passed by.  The moth looked up, suddenly distracted, and Matt scrambled into the parking lot of the gas station.  As he ran past the gas pumps, he is suddenly slammed to the ground again.  That damn giant moth!  A fury of wings beat around him as pulled himself up, using the gas pump for support.  He saw people running away screaming.  Tires peeled out as cars raced away from the monster that was attacking him.  The gas pump!

Matt struggled to pull his wallet out of his pocket as he is bashed and bashed again.  Why?  Why was it attacking him?  Matt then noticed his hand glowing brightly.  Not just glowing... his skin was shining brighter than the street lights!  He barely managed to pull out his debit card when a wing knocked everything out of his hands.  He dove after his card and was overwhelmed by the heavy body of the moth man pushing him to the ground.  He rolled across the ground, and jumped to his feet.  The moth zeroed in and flew directly at Matt, who threw himself to the ground narrowly dodging the beast.

Matt jumped up, ran over to the pump and slid his card into the slot.  The humming sound of the moth came closer.  The gas pump beeped, and the LCD screen flashed "Are you a rewards member?"  He desperately punches the No button.  "Do you want a carwash?"  He screamed at the screen "NO!  I DON'T WANT A CAR WASH!" and punched the button a second time.  "Select octane" the screen read.  He hit the cheapest one and reached for the handle of the pump.   The moth slammed into him.  Again and again, it banged him up against the metal gas pump.  With a desperate grab, Matt yanked the handle out of the gas pump and pulled the trigger.  Gas shot out of the nozzle, covering the moth from head to toe.  Matt shoved his hand in his pockets and grabbed his lighter, and flicks it in the face of the moth.  Moth Man bursts into flames screaming, and flailed to the ground.  The fire quickly spread across the ground, igniting Matt's gas-soaked clothes.  Matt felt such incredible pain.  "What a horrible day," he thought.  

BOOM!!  The entire gas pump explodes sending rubble and body parts everywhere.

It's unknown how many casualties there were.  There was no sign of man or moth, and only a few eye witnesses.

Some say that Matt escaped and went into hiding.  There have been reports of a glowing man walking along the shoreline late at night surrounded by swarms of gnats and moths.  But no proof.

As for me?  I don't believe a word of it.  It sounds like a hair-brained story that someone just made up.  Although... there is a statue of the Moth Man in Point Pleasant, West Virginia...

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

"Don't worry... about a thing.  Every little thing... is gonna be alright!"  ~Bob Marley

I have been told that I am a happy person.  And it's true.  I thrive on happiness.  Even when I'm doing something that is not so fun.  Even when I'm struggling.  Even when I'm feeling sick.  There is always something to be happy about.  Oh, don't get me wrong... I do have my occasional mood swings when I get overwhelmed by the pressures of life... but in the end my happiness bubbles up and lifts me back to the clouds.

How do I do it?

I focus on what I DO have, and not what I DON'T.  There is always someone less fortunate than myself.  And we have to count our blessings for every gift.


Feeling old?  Hang out with people older than yourself.  If I spend too much time around those younger than me, I get called old constantly... and eventually I start to believe it.  Then I will hang out with people who are 10-20 years more experienced than I... and they tell me how young I am.  I still recall my 80 year old grandparents talking about "the boy next door who mows their lawn."  This "boy" was 65 years old!!

Feeling poor?  Take a drive through the ghetto, or take a ride on the city bus.  It's hard not to feel empathy for the people who are REALLY struggling... whether it be from their bad luck or their lack of mental and social skills.  I am lucky to have a strong upbringing and a good head on my shoulders.  And I'm lucky to have a job that pays more than minimum wage.

Feeling lonely?  Visit a senior center.  Or talk to a bum.  I may not have that many friends, but that's mostly because I pick and choose.  The friends I have are solid.  They're understanding.  And they are there for me when I need them the most.  And we often forget about the friends from afar that we have lost touch with... reaching out can reignite that friendship, and with it the comradery that we need.

Hate your job?  Don't we all?  If you liked it, then it would be called a hobby.  And as much as we would liek to get paid for our hobbies, once you do a hobby for money it becomes a job.  I have worked a lot of jobs, and no matter what I do... it will never be as bad as what I HAVE done.  Is there anything worse than getting paid $3.25 an hour to shovel manure out of massive barns in the middle of the summer?  Strange how the worse your job is, the LESS money you get paid.  And every job is an adventure.  How many people can SAY that they shovelled manure at the county fairgrounds all day?



I guess that, when I get angry for being slighted, or I get sad sad for my losses... I begin to think about WHY I am upset... and then I look for the positives.  There are benefits and detriments to every position in life... and things in between.  Life itself is a magical journey.  And I am fascinated by everything.

If you're old, then you are experienced and had many adventures.  If you're young, you have a lifetime ahead of you to explore yourself and your surroundings.  When you're poor, you learn what is truly valuable... like friendship, creativity, exploration and enjoying life.  Being alone gives you time to explore yourself without external distractions.  And having an annoying job makes you appreciate your free time.

I am happy.  I am lucky.  And it makes me happy to write this blog and share with you.  Maybe I know you... maybe I don't.  And maybe I don't have any readers at all... but I am happy to put these words down.  And happy to share my happiness with you all.


And maybe it's all because this song has played in my head non-stop since I was little.  My anthem and my mantra.