The Parenting Conspiracy

Conspiracies are real. Don't believe me??  I have proof.  And I'm blowing the whistle.

I am part of the oldest and biggest conspiracy of all time.  I can say for a FACT, that you are a victim of this conspiracy, as was I.  But now I perpetrate this conspiracy myself.  And I apologize, but I assure you that it was all for your own good.   Well, at least I think it was.  You will judge for yourself.

What is a conspiracy, though?  A conspiracy is a secret.  A BIG secret or secrets with many masterminds behind them.  Secrets so big that they sound completely ridiculous and unimaginable.   The masterminds don't want you to know these secrets, because it is better for everyone if you don't know.  Hopefully you won't ask questions.  Hopefully you won't figure out what they are hiding.  Once you do, you will judge for yourself if it was for your own good, or if you have been cheated.


For instance, chem-trail believers have long said "The government is trying to control the population by spraying us with toxic chemicals!  The proof is in the sky!"

This seems illogical to me.  Our population is growing... but governments make money off of every single tax-payer.  Surely there are other reasons for them to spray our skies with harmful chemicals... such as... weather control to prevent extended droughts.  But cloud seeding is controversial and goes against the loosely defined Environmental Modification Treaty of 1977.   Most governments in the world seed clouds to avoid major droughts that would kill off crops and cause food shortages.  Nearly all deny it,  to avoid breaking the treaty and to avoid upsetting the citizens.  After all, cloud seeding is done with silver oxide and other very hazardous chemicals.

Cloud Seeding

But I have learned to doubt conspiracies.  Many conspiracy "secrets" are created to attract attention.  Secrets attract attention, create excitement and bond people.  And figuring out secrets can cause an uproar.  Chemtrails could just be exhaust hanging in cold dense air.

I am part of the Parenting Conspiracy.  This goes BEYOND parents, though.  My co-conspirators include anyone who wants to help a child become a good person.  Is that you?  If it is, you should join me in our grand schemes.

The core of The Parenting Conspiracy includes hiding the offensive world, comforting, inspiring good habits, reinforcing good morals, encouraging creativity and building social skills.   All over the world, parents are hiding reality from their children with lies.  Not just lies, but a WEB of lies.  And some half-truths.

And I'm going to blow the whistle for all children of the world that read blogs.  You need to know what your parents did to you.

Some of the lies of the Parenting Conspiracy:

• "That strange body part in your underwear is called a ding-ding, or pee-pee, or hoo-ha."  False.  If you're a boy, you have a penis.  If you are a girl, you have a vagina.  A penis and a vagina together is called sex.
• "Babies come from storks, or grow in the cabbage patch." False. Babies come from unprotected sex.
• "You can't sleep in your parents bed because you move too much, make too much noise, crowd me, and wake me up"  Half-true.  The full truth is that your parents want to have sex.
• "We (parents) don't smoke, drink or do drugs.  It's bad for you."  False.  A lot of parents smoke, or drink, or take pills, or drugs.  Sometimes for social or medical benefit.  But, too much of anything can kill you.  Don't be an addict.
• "You can't have dessert until you eat your dinner."  False.  You could have dessert for dinner if you wanted, but it can have negative health and social effects.  Eat healthy.  Eat desserts in moderation.
• "Monsters will haunt you for your bad habits."  Half-true.  Monsters don't exist.  The real monster is the negative social and health effects of bad habits.  Don't be gross.  Don't be rude.  
• "Good children get stickers and prizes."  Half-true.  Parents control their kids with prizes.  Be good for your mom and dad, and they will be good to you.
• "You can only make money from household chores."  False.  Chores keep your house clean and respectable.  When you're an adult, you will make money by doing pointless things for other people.  And usually you get paid by the hour, and not by the task.  So you are probably making more money per hour than your parents do.  
• "Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are real."  False.  They are not real.  Your parents gave you presents in Santa's name, candy in the Easter Bunny's name, and money in the Tooth Fairy's name.  But keep pretending they are real... you will get lots of presents, candy and money as long as your parents think you believe it.
• "Magic, Fairies, gnomes, dragons, and other mythical creatures are real."  False.  Mythical creatures are just myths.  Thinking "outside the box" of reality can be inspiring.  Always be curious and creative.  The world is full of new discoveries.
• And that's just the tip of the iceberg...

I am sorry that we lied.  I feel bad we have misled you for so many years.  But as you can see... we did these things for your own good.  At least we think so.  You can judge for yourself.  You might be angry at first, and maybe even hold it against us.  Maybe what I've told you is too much to hear, and you will go on believing the lies.  But I am confident you will eventually come around to seeing things our way.  We just want you to have a good life.  

The key to a good life...

Be responsible for yourself.  Be healthy physically and emotionally.  Eat right.  Get out and do things!  Don't be lazy.  Take care of yourself and do your household chores.  It will make you happy to improve your environment.  Do your best to get along with others and be a respectable person.  Inspire people.  Don't be bad, be good.  Be positive.  And take pride in all that you do.