Monday, August 12, 2013

Keggar on the Mountain

"I just realized, that I am 30 years old, and I have NEVER had a keggar party."

"Well, why don't you throw one?" says my friend, Mike.

"I guess I could.  I have money and my new job doesn't start for another month.  Just have to think of someplace epic to throw it, and see if I can find people to come."

"If you throw a keggar, people will come... invited or not!" Mike nods.

"Hmm... I wonder if anyone has ever had a keggar on top of the Incline stairs that goes to the top of Rocky Mountain?"

Mike's eyes pop wide open... "On TOP of the mountain??  You're crazy!"

"Well, it's gotta be epic.  I may never throw another keggar party again."

Yes, the top of THAT mountain.

And so I started planning.  I got the biggest keg I could buy of the best IPA micro-brew beer I could find.  The keg was heavy.  REALLY heavy.  So, I went dolly shopping.  None of the dollies were big enough to hold a keg, and most had hard rubber wheels.  I needed a BIG dolly with big rubber wheels if I was going to drag a heavy keg up a mountain trail.  In fact, I saw the PERFECT dolly in my neighbors garage.  I would ask to borrow it... but they weren't the friendliest neighbors...

I called all of my friends.  Sunday worked the best for everyone.

On the morning on June 15th, 2008, I woke up early with one goal in mind...  get that keg to the top of the mountain!  I lightly tiptoed to the neighbors house, and quietly wheeled their big dolly across the alley.  I pumped up the tires, and loaded it into the car.  Then I loaded the keg from my refrigerator and started making phone calls.

Nobody answered.

I kept calling, and calling... until I finally got a hold of Alan and Mike.  They showed up, and they started calling people... and we waited.  Nobody showed up.  Soon it was afternoon, and I was getting antsy, so I demanded that we start by ourselves.

We drove to the very end of Ruxton Avenue where there is a shortcut up Barr Trail.  I wrapped the cold keg with a blanket, strapped it to the dolly and away we went.  Boy, was that keg heavy!!  Three guys pushing and pulling as hard as we could up that steep dirty trail... and the keg got heavier and heavier.  So we stop to rest...
3 men and a keg

And we start calling people again.  Calling friends of friends of friends.

*ring ring ring... click*

"Hey!  What are you doing?.... Oh?... Want to come to a keggar party?... Yeah!  It's going to be on the Incline... Yes!  The Incline!  But we reeeeeeally need your help.  Can you help us push this keg up the trail?  We are about 1 mile up... okay!  See you soon!"

And people started arriving...
Reinforcements!

The keg continued to get heavier as we pushed... and each time we stopped, cellphones were out and we were calling for more help.  And more people arrived...
And more reinforements

We make it about 3 miles up Barr Trail to where it meets the Incline stairs... a spot nicknamed "The Bailout" since so many people climbing up the Incline stairs would bailout once they realized they were only 2/3 up the mountain.  That stairway is no joke!

And that's when mutiny happened.  There was about 1-2 miles left to reach the top of the mountain, but the mob was growing tired and thirsty... and refused to push the keg any further.  So, we tapped it.
Tapping the keg of Edge City IPA from Bristol Brewery

What a night!  We poured extra beers and set them on the stairway for the thirsty hard-core hikers.  "C'mon... have a beer!  You don't want to climb the rest of the way up do you?  Look how far it is!  You look tired... Stop and have a cold beer and join the party!"

Drinking a fresh beer on the Incline

And the party grew.  A constant stream of hikers joined our party, whether they were going up the Incline or coming down the trail.  All types of people joined us... hippies, gangsters, housewives, military soldiers, retired folks.  It was just as epic as I hoped.  Although, I would not recommend a potent micro brew beer for a party on the mountain.
I honestly don't know who most of these people are

New bros bumping fists

I encouraged everyone to stay the night... as there were few flashlights and going down a gravel trail or a set of steep stairs is not something you should do in the middle of the night.  But that didn't stop people.  One by one they left... some braving the stairs, some taking the trail.  Soon, I was all alone, QUITE inebriated and the keg was still VERY heavy.  I wrapped myself in the keg blanket and dozed off watching the city lights.
The city at night from near the top of the Incline

*crunch, crunch, crunch*

I woke up with a start to feet stepping around me.  I look up, and see a few people already above me huffing and puffing their way up the stairs.  I look down the stairs and see a STREAM of people hiking up.  Then I glance at my watch... 4:45am.  Wait... 4:45am???  Who in the world wants to hike to the top of 3,000 steps that early in the morning?

My head was pounding, and the party left quite a mess.  So I slowly gathered up all the garbage, strapped the keg back to the dolly and started my way back down the trail alone.  The keg was heavy... but going downhill that was not much of a problem.  Except the keg was heavy, and rolling down the hill after me.  I had to run to keep from getting run over myself.  Before I knew it, I was off the trail and back onto the road.

People stared as I ran by shortly after 5am... covered in dirt and dragging a dolly with a beer keg.

A keg is a dangerous thing if you don't have many friends.  It took us nearly a month to finish it.  When I finally returned the keg to the brewery, I was done drinking for quite a while.



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